Thoughts and a Shower: Arakawa
by Themulchmeister
Summary: Not much to say about this one...Mostly self-explanatory. Defintely a Narm-fic.


**Arakawa is the character for-the-win baby! Seriously as funny and useless as she may appear in the anime she has a much more kick-ass role in the manga. This****_ Thoughts_ episode is more of a piss-take than the others, so I suggest listening to Guile's Street Fighter Theme whilst reading (apparently it goes with EVERYTHING!). Enjoy!  
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_Blood-bath  
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_Am I really gonna die? Am I really gonna die in a place like this, in this mess? Am I really gonna die before I can achieve my goal of becoming an award winning scientist?_

"...Am I really gonna die...A Virgin?"

Arakawa's life was fading fast as the blood pooled around her body. She lay face down, her thick framed specs drowning in muddy, thick crimson soup. Her breathing was getting fainter and her body felt as cold as the ice.

Arakawa was going to die and her final thoughts would concern her virginity and body odour...

…

30 MINUTES AGO...

"My...My, I really need to take a shower but now I'm stuck here on this helicopter with-"

The heavily armoured assault squad officer raised his rifle, causing Arakawa to quickly stop her idle complaints.

"Eh? Sorry Mister, I'll be quiet now...Hehehe..." _I'm dead..._

Arakawa decided to busty herself by twiddling her thumbs and glancing outside of the chopper's window. _Boy...How the hell did some cheap excuse of a science aid such as myself end up in this place?_

But then Arakawa already knew the answer to that...Her answer lay right by her seat wrapped in a large garbage bag. Her answer reeked of death and leaked rotting blood. Her answer was of course her former partner from the University – Professor Kakuzawa.

Together, they had been working on developing a vaccine for strange virus which causes the carrier's children to be born with severe deformities. They were getting pretty close to unlocking the vaccine, at least that's from what Arakawa had been told.

Arakawa knew at this point she was way out her league as a mere community college graduate. She had been warned by the professor about the potential danger these deformed children possessed. That was why they were either euthanaised at birth or confined in an island facility. She never calculated the possibility that one of these mutants might escape. Nor did she anticipate that the professor would be slain by one of them. She did at least know the first people to call when a situation like this arose.

The chopper landed safely on the helipad outside the main island facility. Arakawa was urged to hop out with the bag. She crouched down as she stepped off the chopper, the updraft lifting up her lab coat as the chopper finally set off.

Arakawa was greeted by another bespectacled woman, probably a few years older than herself and with lighter hair. "The Director is waiting for you."

The other woman introduced herself as Shirakawa. As she guided her through the sterile corridors of the facility Arakawa began feeling an uneasy sensation coursing through her body. _This place creeps me out..._

Shirakawa approached a large set of doors as they made their way to the Director's office. Arakawa took a few whiffs of her armpits. "Gee, I really should have taken a shower, I hope I don't smell to bad...How embarrassing."

But before she could dwell on her bodily odours any further she found herself in an elegant and spacious room – quite a relieving contrast to the rest of the facility atmosphere. A long red carpet led her towards the main desk where a suited man, donning slick grey hair, waited with his back turned.

Shirakawa gave Arakawa a little nudge for her to place the bag and its contents on the desk. Arakawa took a few slow steps a forward, gently lowering the bag before shuffling back to the middle of the room.

The young aid pulled her collar nervously. "Um...Excuse me Mr. Kakuzawa sir...I uh-"

"So my son got himself killed eh?" The Director remarked quite coldly. He turned around and pulled open the bag, glancing at his son's head, paying particular attention to the two protrusions sprouting out if the top of his skull. "I knew this was bound to happen, what with his rapscallion nature and such."

Arakawa shuffled the ball of her foot against one of her sandals. "Um...well then...If that's all."

The wrinkly old man's face distorted into an evil smile as he produced a handgun from his pocket, pointing the barrel of execution at the science aid. "Our recovery team found another pair of footprints at the scene, who was the person with you when you discovered my son's body?"

Arakawa shivered with fear. "H-H-Hey...P-P-Put that thing away, it's dangerous..."

Kakuzawa ignored her blubbering and continued. "Who else saw the body? If you value your life I would start remembering."

Arakawa shook her head. She turned to Shirakawa who simply lowered her head in sorrow. "I-I-I d-d-don't know – I mean, I can't remember!" _Holy Shit! Why has he got a gun out? If that thing hits me I'm probably gonna die!_

Kakuzawa's face twisted into a sadistic smile. "Well that's too bad then."

Suddenly Arakawa bolted. She only made a few steps before she tasted the smoky and bitter taste of lead in her right shoulder. "AGH! Y-You actually shot me?" She stated in disbelief.

"Now you're going to start remembering." Kakuzawa ordered.

It didn't take long for Arakawa to feel the immediate symptoms of being shot. "Oh God, I think I'm losing a lot of blood...I feel kinda sick, can I go lie down or see a doctor about this?" Arakawa swayed groggily towards the exit.

"Stop right there and turn around!" Kakuzawa demanded.

Arakawa turned back around, clutching her arm. The blood had soaked into her entire sleeve and was now dripping from her fingers onto the floor. "I think he was one of the professor's students. He said the Diclonius had been living with them and that he was looking for her when..." Arakawa stopped short as she collapsed into her own pool of blood.

_Am I really gonna die? Am I really gonna die in a place like this, in this mess? Am I really gonna die before I can achieve my goal of becoming an award winning scientist?_

_...Am I really gonna die...A Virgin?_

Arakawa's life was fading fast as the blood pooled around her body. She lay face down, her thick framed specs drowning in muddy, thick crimson soup. Her breathing was getting fainter and her body felt as cold as the ice.

"You will work with me from now on." Kakuzawa declared. "You will continue my son's work cloning the virus."

Arakawa gathered up enough strength to lift her head. "Y-you mean, y-you're g-gonna save me?" Before she could receive an answer she was met with darkness as she finally collapsed from major blood loss. Her eyes were going blank as the poor woman who had never even had the chance to enjoy a warm shower for at least a week, was now facing her demise.

Kakuzawa put his gun away as he turned back to the window. "Call the medics Shirakawa...Oh and make sure she's cleaned up as well, she reeks worse than me."

* * *

><p>Oh well at least she'll finally be able to have her shower and live long enough to become a family man. By the way take some time to check out my <strong>Preview for Elfen Lied Season 2 and tell me what you think! <strong>Next _Thoughts_ episode comes from a character both highgly loved and despised by the fandom. What will Yuka have to say for herself in the next episode?


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